Great Gibblets!

So yesterday was fun. We gave the Science FCAT and it went swimmingly, I guess. I played relief teacher...which was fine. I walked into this classroom. I don't know who the teacher is or what they teach but I am standing there and there are these two students talking to each other. This is an honest conversation.
Boy A: Dude, you ever been tazzered before?
Boy B: Nah, man. I am too fast for the tazer gun!
Boy A: But, it's a gun now..they pull the trigger and they shoot you with electric. Then you fall to the ground and twitch like a raccoon.
Boy C: Raccoons twitch?
Boy B: I can run fast, dude. I will out run every bullet ever shot at me.
So to test this theory another student threw a book to the floor and it made a loud bang noise. This kid dove to the ground. The entire class bursts out laughing.
Boy A: Yeah, I see you running!
I was dying inside and of course you can't laugh at them, can you?

So like a month ago, I was giving a lecture and putting the kids into groups. I turn around and there is this student with his lighter open and his arm waving back and forth like he was at a Jay-Z concert. I looked at him. I thought he had gone crazy! Nope, he says, "I was just checking to see if it gas. No need to make a federal case out of it." Are you freaking kidding me? A federal case!? He also says, "Chill Miss!" I said oh okay..so I should chill while you light yourself on fire and we watch you here burning? Then when they ask me why didn't you do anything, I can say Chill Man?!" Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?!