So it is June 23rd and 22 days since my last confession. I have finished regular school days only to be working for summer school and at the place they made a song about. I am exhausted every single day and my husband keeps a drink for me to help alleviate that problem, of course some days I don't even remember drinking it but hey. I have remembered after my long hiatus some stories that I forgot to place on the last entry, which only makes them more funny.
Okay so it was the last days of school and I was prepping for the final exam. I ask the class, "What is a homonym?" I look around the class, I see a sea of confusion, a valley of ignorance and then of course out of the dismal abyss a hand is raised. I think this is wonderful, someone finally knows an answer. I call on the student and they say loud and proud,"Isn't that a nice way to say a gay couple?" The air blows out from my body and I look at the student and I say, "Um, close but no, it is two words that sound the same and are spelled differently." I felt that seen from Glee where the girls stands there in her dress with the stapled animals and the frog jumps off...yeah I felt like that frog. I'll admit it, I want to jump out the window, run screaming from the insanity. I mean it is only the end of the year and you can't remember one thing that I taught already? ARGH! Almost as good as the time we spoke about Chuck Norris. It doesn't end there, of course not, it's me, so it gets better.
So after this, I have a student who says, "Miss, before the end of the year, I am going to throw myself into your wall to see what happens." I laugh at him and I say," Ha! No, you are not!" A few days go by and things are winding down, school is coming to a close and I blink for one second. Big mistake, never trust your students well that particular student anyhow. So I blink for one second and off he runs, launches himself like a freaking bug and lands in the wall. Oh yeah, you read that right, lands inside the wall. I mean a four foot hole in the shape of this student. The entire class has a fit, they are yelling and I look at him and for once am at a total loss of words. Suffice to say that 250 dollars and the end of the year is all that it take to fix my room. HA HA HA! I wish I had a fly swatter cause I would have nailed him with it. Freaking world's largest bug! I could go on the road and charge 25 cents for a look at the bug man!
So here we are and I am now in summer school. I had taken 35 kids to Tampa to look at colleges. I had forgotten that some colleges were so pretty to look at, I mean with the exception of the three kids that passed out and myself from the extreme heat, really pretty. This trip took me out of summer school for the first three days so when I finally arrived on campus ready to work, I figured that I would have to begin all over again. Imagine my surprise when the first bell rings and I have no students. I then find out that it's okay, that is my planning period. Okay so the next bell rings and then the next and I still have no kids. I have to run around campus recruiting for this class, TV Production. Who wouldn't want to be involved? I arrive to find several students in my room. They don't speak English so now my TV Production morning show has become Telemundo! And? You are probably asking so what? I just don't want to watch an entire episode of "POR QUE!" and "Adios Mio!" So dramatic, so crazy. So to alleviate the issues, I am doing in fact a Telemundo Minute...drama in seconds:) I shall keep you posted on that weekly episodic series.
Well, I think that is all in a nutshell foe now but there is always a chance of more insanity, I mean that is education:)